fact or fiction: NHTSA funnies
Captured from the NHTSA complaints site.
Make : FORD Model : ESCAPE Year : 2004
Manufacturer : FORD MOTOR COMPANY
Crash : Yes Fire : Yes Number of Injuries: 0
ODI ID Number : 10122424 Number of Deaths: 0
Date of Failure: April 17, 2005
VIN : VKN17779333...
Component: STRUCTURE:BODY
Summary:
WHILE DRIVING HOME FROM HAVING A FEW DRINKS WITH MY FRIENDS, A DEER RAN OUT IN FRONT OF ME AND ALTHOUGH I SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES, I COULDN'T STOP QUICK ENOUGH TO AVOID HITTING THE DEER AND SMASHING IN THE GRILL OF MY NEW CAR. WHEN THE STATE PATROL ARRIVED, THEY GAVE ME A TICKET FOR SPEEDING AND AFTER I TOLD THEM THAT I WAS NOT SPEEDING WHEN I HIT THE DEER, (I HAD GOTTON THE SPEED DOWN TO ABOUT 60MPH AT IMPACT) THEY THEN WANTED ME TO TAKE A ALCOHOL IMPAIRED TEST WHICH I NATURALLY DECLINED BECAUSE I WASN'T IMPAIRED. I ONLY HAD JUST A FEW DRINKS AND MAYBE SOME BEER & WINE AT DINNER AND MAYBE 2 DRINKS BEFORE I LEFT TO GO HOME. THEY THEN PROCEEDED TO ARREST ME LIKE A COMMON CROOK AND TOOK ME TO JAIL, WHERE I HAD TO SPEND THE NIGHT. ANYWAYS, MY INSURANCE COMPANY REFUSES TO FIX MY NEW CAR AND NOW THE CAR COMPANY REFUSES TO FIX IT ALSO. THIS CAR IS A PIECE OF JUNK. IF IT HAD BEEN MADE GOOD, IT WOULDN'T HAVE SUSTAINED ALL THAT DAMAGE FROM HITTING A LOUSY DEER. WHILE TRYING TO FIX THE DAMAGE MYSELF, MY FRIEND JOEY PUT SOME GAS ON THE GRILL AND LIT IT TO SOFTEN UP THE PLASTIC JUNK THEY MADE THE GRILL OUT OF, SO WE COULD BEND IT BACK TOGETHER AND J.B. WELD IT. WELL, JOEY GOT SOME OF THE HOT MELTED PLASTIC ON HIM AND IT BURNED LIKE HELL AND HE JUMPED UP AND KNOCKED OVER THE JAR WITH GAS IN IT AND THE WHOLE PLACE WENT UP IN FLAMES. MY CAR NOT ONLY BURNED, BUT MY GARAGE WENT UP IN SMOKE TOO. NOW THE INSURANCE COMPANY IS TELLING ME THAT THEY WON'T PAY THE CLAIM FOR THE GARAGE OR THE CAR CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ARSON FOR PROFIT. HOW IN THE HELL CAN I PROFIT FROM LOSING MY CAR AND GARAGE. JOEYS PISSED, AND HAS THREATENED TO SUE ME CAUSE HE GOT BURNED AND THINKS HE SHOULD GET SOME OF THE INSURANCE MONEY I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET SINCE HE'S THE ONE THAT STARTED THE FIRE. SHOULDN'T I BE SUEING HIM? ANYWAY, IF THE DAMN CAR HAD BEEN MADE GOOD, I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS FIX. NOW I HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING TO DRIVE AND NO PLACE TO PARK IT IF I DID. THIS REALLY SUCKS. IS THERE ANYONE I CAN SUE?
High-larious.
Where did you find this? That is dying for someone to write a script to scrape that site and turn those entries into an RSS feed, maybe filtered on key terms like ‘DEER.’
Comment by bcompton — 9/29/2005 @ 11:14 pm
This report reads like it was written by Jeff Foxworthy. I’m glad the URL works, otherwise no one would believe me, and the NHTSA website is just akward enough not to go searching through it on a whim. There are some gems in there!
Comment by josiah — 9/30/2005 @ 9:03 am